Thursday, 21 May 2009

Remember me?

It has been a WHILE. Miss me? No? Well screw you. Let's do some thunking.

1. Have you seen the new Star Trek movie, and if so what did you think?

I have. I should explain that I am one of those people who hears "Star Trek" and goes "eww". However, an alarming number of my friends are Trekkies (one of them even told me that this term is derogatory, and that they prefer "Trekkers"). It was by a handful of them that I was therefore dragged to see it. It was opening night, and my god, the audience was just a seething, oozing mass of stereotypes. But enough about that, as I've just eaten.

To be honest, I was tempted to see it anyway, because of the cast. Sylar! Harold! Simon Pegg! Winona! And, it was indeed very, very good, everything that a sci-fi action film should be, and above all completely accessible to non-Trekkies. Incidentally, this confirms my suspicions that I would still hate the TV show.

2. Which popular sitcom character (past or present) are you most like?

Oh my god. Do you not know me? Oh, you don't. I watch many, many sitcoms, and I overanalyse all of them. I could contemplate this question for DAYS, were it not for the fact that I've already thought about it for days in the past and concluded that I am a combination of 5 parts Chandler from Friends, 2 parts Ted from How I Met Your Mother, 2 parts Malcolm from Malcolm in the Middle and 1 part JD from Scrubs.

3. What kind of dreams do you have?

On the occasions that I remember them, pretty cool ones. Think I've only had 1 or 2 nightmares in the last 10 years.

4. Bugger it. Go get a tattoo and come back. Right, now answer me this, what ees eet?

Oh, Tilli. Since she asked this question, it makes sense that she already knows my answer. I would get a number 7, with a small Spades symbol next to it. It's my favourite number and my favourite card.

5. Do you think you could be on American Idol with the singing voice you have now without any voice training?

Unfortunately not.

6. How much wood, would a woodchuck chuck? If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

I don't know, but I'm not a pheasant plucker, I'm a pheasant plucker's son and I'll keep on plucking pheasants til my plucking days are done.

7. If you were a tree in a Dr. Seuss book, what would you look like?

Ha. I would be blue. And hopefully a bit sturdier than most of his trees appear.

8. Twilight? I'm addicted/Who cares/What the hell is Twilight?

I'll take option number 2 please.

9. Do you think Kimber and Berleen do a dube while writing these questions?

I don't know what a dube is. I'd look it up but I'm scared.

10. What the worst injury you've ever had?

This is gonna sound a little pathetic, but I stubbed my toe really, REALLY hard. And it was on my birthday which made it worse.

11. What is your favourite dessert?

I could also think about this for days. Let's go with vanilla cheesecake. No, chocolate cheesecake. No, profiteroles. ARGH FUCK

12. What do you prefer...beach or mountains?

I'm a beach boy. It's actually more the case that I hate mountains. This may sound irrational, as they haven't done anything to me. But I'm scared of heights and I hate climbing. It's like walking, which I dislike enough, but harder.

13. What movie have you seen that still make you cry?

No movie actually makes me cry, but some come close. Of those, Armageddon is probably the one I've seen most often, and the effect doesn't diminish.

14. Why are you making me submit a question? Are you too lazy to think of one yourself?

Wouldn't blame you.

15. How often do you do laundry?

Whenever I've run out of clean clothes that I like, or if I have a few hours with nothing important to do. On average every 10 days or so.

16. What is your favorite movie of all time, and why?

I've so often said Pulp Fiction and/or Toy Story without properly thinking because I know that doing so might make my brain implode. It could be one of those two. It could also be Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Dogma, Snatch or Superbad. I can't choose and you can't make me. DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE.

17. If you won a million dollars in the lottery, would you keep working?

Since that'd just about buy me a nice house in London, yes. Make it 10 mil and we'll talk.

18. If there was a war of the gummies, would you be on the gummi bear side or the gummi worm side?

I've never had a gummi worm and I although I'm sure they taste just as good, I'd still be put off by the wormishness. So, bears.

19. What's your favourite comic strip?

Calvin & Hobbes without the slightest shadow of a doubt. It is not only my favourite comic strip but one of my favourite things in the world, ever. It's genius, hilarious, accurate, wise, moving and adorable, and generally always makes me feel better about life as a whole.

20. Close your eyes… imagine you are in the perfect room/place… describe it.

There's a big-ass HD TV, an Xbox, every DVD in the world ever, peanut butter, bread, a hotline to Domino's, comfy chairs, windows with a good view and plenty of natural light, and all my friends.