1. My uncle once :
Climbed several stories of scaffolding on a building in Hong Kong when my grandma wasn't watching. I did not inherit this gene.
2. Never in my life :
Have I shaved my head. Dunno why this popped into my mind. Maybe it's my greatest fear. I like my hair.
3. When I was seventeen :
I arrived at uni, younger than most of the other freshers and a month off the UK drinking age. They had to put my picture up behind the college bar.
4. High School was :
Fine, but not as fun as it could have been. I am now, strangely, close friends with two large groups of my ex-schoolmates who were only vague acquaintances at the time, and I wish I'd befriended them earlier.
5. I will never forget :
This could be a long list, I have a very good memory. But since I guess we're talking about when I'm old and stuff, I'll go with last summer's Far East adventure.
6. I once met :
A man with seven wives. As I was travelling to St Ive's.
7. There’s this girl I know who :
Sometimes appears to share a brain with me.
8. Once, at a bar :
I left my money with a friend and asked him to get me a double vodka Red Bull while I went to the bathroom. When I came back, I found out the Russian bartender had confused my friend's order of a pint of wine (classy, I know) and my order...and given us each a double vodka Red Bull, IN a pint of wine. I drank it, with some female encouragement. I don't remember much after that. Except for falling off a barstool, running into a tree, and laughing a lot. Hell, ask Tilli what happened, I also remember phoning her a few times.
9. By noon, I’m usually :
10. Last night :
I don't remember. Not because it was a wild drunken night, but because the last week has been so fucking dull that all the days have merged into each other.
11. If only I had :
A billion dollars. Yes, everyone says this, but there's a reason. It would solve almost all of my problems, and thus give me time to focus on fixing the ones that it wouldn't solve directly.
12. Next time I go to gym/church :
Will be tomorrow, in the case of the gym.
13. Susan Boyle :
Is very talented. I only found out about her this morning, delayed I know. Does no else find it harsh how everyone keeps pointing out, to her face, how surprising it is to hear that voice coming out of her? She's receiving a backhanded compliment from THE ENTIRE WORLD.
14. What worries me most :
Getting my head shaved, apparently.
15. When I turn my head left, I see :
I don't see nobody by my side.
16. When I turn my head right, I see :
Still nobody in sight. So I turn my head to the north, swallow that thing that they call pride, the old me's dead and gone...but the new me'll be alright.
17. You know I’m lying when :
You won't. I lie so infrequently that no one ever suspects.
18. What I miss most about the eighties :
Umm...nappies? Breastfeeding? No wait, that's not good at all. Blissfull childlike wonder and ignorance, that'll do.
19. If I was a character in Shakespeare, I’d be :
Ha. Um, let's go with Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 10 Things I Hate About You.
20. By this time next year :
I might have finished this meme. Halfway through, are you kidding me?! Right, I'm cutting down on the long answers.
21. A better name for me would be :
22. I have a hard time understanding :
23. If I ever go back to school, I’ll :
Drink a lot.
24. You know I like you if :
Again, you won't know, not for the first few times we meet cos I'll barely have spoken to you. After that point, if I am anything even approaching talkative, that's your sign.
25. If I ever won an award, the first person I’d thank would be :
26. When I compare 80’s rock to 90’s rock :
27. Take my advice, never :
Clean your glasses with aerosol deodorant. That was a motherfucker of a headache.
28. My ideal breakfast is :
29. A song I love, but do not own is :
Does this assume non-piracy?
30. If you visit my hometown, I suggest :
Fuck this. http://www.visitlondon.com/
31. My favorite Beatle is :
32. Why won’t people :
MAKE SHORTER MEMES.
33. If you spend the night at my house :
Do not expect me to know where the pillows are kept. People found this out the hard way last week.
34. I’d stop my wedding for :
If I made it that far? Nothing.
35. The world could do without :
Piers Morgan. Yeah, you know who he is now America, if you know who Susan Boyle is. God he's an irritating fucker.
36. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than :
Lick the belly of a spider. But licking a cyanide capsule comes above both.
37. My favourite blonde is :
Huh. Difficult, I like brunettes. Ooh, got it, Elisha Cuthbert.
38: Paper clips are more useful than :
39. If I do anything well, it’s :
40. And by the way :
I tried to say I'd be there, waiting for...